It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
