hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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