Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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