Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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