the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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