Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
