eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
