its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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