so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
