Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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