I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
