I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
