it was like his penis was on wheels.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
