i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
