Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
