You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
