so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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