At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
