my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
