And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
