Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
