I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
