hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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