I just saw a hot homeless man
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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