I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
