how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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