I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
