i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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