Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
