Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
