I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
