butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize