I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
