How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize