As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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