You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His hands were made for my vagina.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
