Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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