Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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