The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
