You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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