So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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