Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
