yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dicks are not precious.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
