And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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