Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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