we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
