Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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