i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
