Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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