Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize