That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
