You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
