i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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