is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
