you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Are we still banned from the library?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
