Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
