He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
