Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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