You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
