so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
