I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize