Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
